Ahab Has A Blog.

What? I can't hear you. I'm wearing earplugs.

If a fact falls on the news, does it make a noise?

One has to wonder how these numbnuts like Laura Ingraham, Cal Thomas, etc can say with a straight face that the problem with the war in Iraq is that the media aren't reporting all the good things going on over there. What they need to do, in this theory, is leave the Green Zone, go out and talk to the troops and find out whow things are really going.

Leaving aside the painfully obvious question - if reporters are cowards, why have more been killed in Iraq than in World War II? - you must, eventually, bang yoru head on the table in frustration with the even more obvious question: why don't you do it?

How is it that I hear so much about what reporters should do from who themselves are apparently unwilling to do it? If there were good news to report, wouldn't FOX News be reporting it? Or are they part of the liberal media conspiracy now? Seriously, with all the people out there in the journimalistic media eager to tell the good news about Iraq, why can't any of them find any? Where is the Laura Ingraham who will report the good news instead of just accusing other reporters of ignoring it? How is it that no one eager to report the good news from Iraq happens to be reporting on Iraq?

That "good news" line is getting stale, folks, and people know it. Just as surely (and slowly) as they are figuring out that there is so much talk about the liberal media, you have to wonder who isn't talking about it. In fact, if you turned down all that yakking about the liberal media, the remaining media would be consipicuous for their silence. Then again, the fact- and reality-based media can't talk about the "liberal media" much, because they've got to report the actual news. So either the facts have a liberal bias, or once you take the plain old facts away, there just ain't much left to be the "liberal media", eh?

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Churchistan

I've seen some legitmate complaints recently about hostility to religion by some on the left. Not all Christians are represented by Pat Robertson and his ilk - in fact, the majority are not. So you are an atheist. Good for you - you've got your sacred cows, too.

The reason I mention this is that in mocking theocrats in America, people sometimes refer to swaths of the country as "Jesusland". This is unnecessarily offensive to non-theocratic Christians. The theocrats are in need of mockery, still.

So I offer you what appears, by googling, to be an original coinage: Churchistan.

Isn't that better?

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Nude news

Nude in the News

A Huntington woman told police that an unknown man forcibly removed her from her vehicle in the 1000 block of 12th Avenue about 1:45 a.m. Sunday. Her age was not provided within the report.

The man then reportedly took the woman to the side of a house, stripped her clothing and took photographs.


A 27-year-old Lehighton man already in county prison for violating a restraining order when he scattered nude pictures of his estranged wife at her job several weeks ago was charged Monday with doing the same thing at a Lehigh Township day care center a few days later, police said.

Peter John Snyder II, formerly of of 182 Dowbush Road, allegedly distributed nude photos of his wife to people at the Teddy Bear Day Care, 4623 Lehigh Drive, on Oct. 7, 9 and 10, police said.

Police said Snyder wrote his estranged wife's name on the back of the photos along with her cell phone number and her grandmother's number.

Snyder is in Northampton County Prison after he was arrested for placing about 18 nude pictures of his wife in the parking lot at 2124 Avenue C in Bethlehem on Oct. 4, police said.

He was arraigned before District Judge William Zaun of Cherryville and charged with two counts each of harassment and stalking. His bail was raised by $22,000.

Restaurant Shift Turns Into Nightmare

An Extra Shift at McDonald's Becomes a Terrifying Interrogation

Nov. 10, 2005 ? - Louise Ogborn was always willing to take on extra shifts at McDonald's in Mount Washington, Ky. Ogborn's mother had health problems and had recently lost her job, so the 18-year-old did whatever she could to help make ends meet.

On April 9, 2004, Ogborn offered to work through the restaurant's evening rush, trying to be helpful and make a few extra dollars.

"I was just going to eat and then clock back in and help until somebody else came along that could help," she said.

But Ogborn couldn't have known that her noble gesture would turn into a terrifying ordeal that she says will haunt her for the rest of her life.

A Startling Accusation

Ogborn was called into assistant manager Donna Summers' cramped office and told that Summers was on the telephone with a police officer.

"She said, 'Here she is. This is the girl you described,'" said Ogborn. "She told me to shut the door."

Summers told Ogborn that the officer on the phone had their store manager on the other line and that he had described her and accused her of stealing a purse from a customer.

"I was like, 'Donna, I've never done anything wrong,'" Ogborn said. "I could never steal -- I could never do anything like that. I don't have it in me."

But inside the back office, which had now become an "interrogation room," Ogborn's protests fell on deaf ears.

"She said, 'Well, they said it was a little girl that looked like you in a McDonald's uniform, so it had to be you.'"

It was Ogborn's word against the accusation of a man claiming to be a cop, and she was given a choice: submit to a search or be escorted to the police station.

Listening to 'the Voice'

Ogborn was told to empty her pockets and surrender her car keys and cell phone, which she did. Then the caller demanded that Summers have Ogborn remove her clothes -- even her underwear -- leaving her with just a small, dirty apron to cover her naked body.

Summers says she never second-guessed what she was being asked to do, as she firmly believed the person she was talking to was a police officer. Ogborn says she trusted her manager to do what was right.

Because it was a busy Friday night, Summers had to leave the office to check on the restaurant. The man on the phone demanded that another employee be left to watch Ogborn until the police arrived and Summers chose 27-year-old Jason Bradley.

"He [Bradley] takes the phone and they're telling him to have me do certain things and drop the apron," she said. "He wouldn't have any part of it."

Bradley walked out in disgust, leaving Summers with no one to watch Ogborn. Then the caller made an odd request, asking Summers to call her fiancé to have him watch the girl.

Summers says she did as she was told.

"I honestly thought he was a police officer and what I was doing was the right thing," said Summers. "I thought I was doing what I was supposed to be doing."

Surveillance video shows Ogborn broke down in tears.

Two Hours of Torment

Within fifteen minutes, Summers' fiancé, Walter Nix, entered the office where Ogborn tugged at the small apron that barely covered her top and exposed her legs up to her buttocks.

Again, Summers says she didn't question the caller and completely trusted her fiancé to be left alone with the girl.

Ogborn says she wanted to run, but that it would have been too humiliating to run through the restaurant naked.

Nix, a 43-year-old exterminator, began following the caller's commands, ordering Ogborn to drop her apron, bend over and stand on a chair.

Then -- as ridiculous as it sounds -- he told her to do jumping jacks to shake loose anything she might be hiding. Ogborn says that was just the beginning of two more hours of torment.

The demands became more and more bizarre. When Ogborn says that when she failed to address Nix as "sir," the caller tells him to hit her violently on the buttocks over and over. At one point on the video, Ogborn was "spanked" for almost 10 full minutes.

"He told me I was asking too many questions, so he was told to hit me," she said. "I just said, 'Please don't do this.'"

By the end, red welts could be seen on the woman's body.

During it all, Summers periodically came back to the office, and each time, Nix threw the apron at Ogborn, telling her to stay quiet.

"I begged her every time she came in the room," Ogborn said. "'Get me out of here. Please get me out of here."

Ogborn says she even asked the assistant manager to call the police, but each time, she says, Summers told her, "No, we're still waiting for the cop."

Summers denies Ogborn ever asked her to call the police or that the girl pleaded with her.

Ogborn says that after more than three hours of dehumanizing treatment, Nix -- again on the instructions of the caller -- forced Ogborn to perform a sexual act.

The caller then told Nix to hand the phone back to Summers and instructed her to bring in someone else.

This time, she had Thomas Simms, a 58-year-old maintenance man who worked at the restaurant, get on the phone with the caller, but Simms refused to comply with the caller's strange demands.

"Tom told me, 'This man is asking ? for her to drop her apron so I can see her without the apron,' " she recalled. "And I said, 'Do what?!' "

Summers frantically called her manager, Lisa Siddons, who the caller claimed had been on the other line all along. But when Siddons answered her phone, she said she'd been sleeping.

It was then that Summers realized, she'd been had.

Police Arrive

When Mount Washington Police Detective Buddy Stump arrived at the restaurant, he had Nix arrested and began the process of trying to figure out who the caller was.

"The first thing I thought about was ? this has got to be somebody on a pay phone," he said. "Maybe over [at] Winn Dixie and they're getting their jollies off at watching all the action and the police roll in."

But thanks to an Internet search by his chief of police, Stump discovered that calls like this have been going on for more than 10 years. Ogborn, it turns out, was only the latest in a long line of victims.

After a McDonald's employee used the "*69" feature to get a telephone number for the caller, Stump learned the call had been made from a supermarket pay phone -- in Panama City, Fla.

Stump discovered that the call was made with an AT&T calling card and, upon learning that the biggest seller of those cards in Panama City is Wal-Mart, he contacted local police for help.

A Decade of Calls

It turned out that the Panama City Police Department had received several calls about investigations in multiple states for similar incidents. By early 2004, there had been more than 70 cases of hoax phone calls to fast food restaurants, dating as far back as 1994.

At a McDonald's in Hinesville, Ga., a caller convinced a 55-year-old janitor to do a cavity search of a 19-year-old cashier, while in Fargo, N.D., a manager at a local Burger King strip-searched a 17-year-old female employee.

In Phoenix, a caller had a Taco Bell manager pick out a customer and then strip-search her. And police in Massachusetts had been looking for a man who called three Wendy's restaurants near Boston in a single day.

Stump was put in touch with Vic Flaherty, a detective in West Bridgewater, Mass., investigating the Wendy's calls.

Flaherty told Stump he had traced the card's purchase to the exact time the caller bought it, but as luck would have it, the security cameras were pointed toward the front doors -- not the registers -- and didn't capture the sale.


Update, 2006/06 - There was a story in the news since then about a guy who was caught doing this. He may have been responsible for a long, long string of these incidents. And - see what happens when you don't teach your children to question authority?
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Founding Principles

"Christianity neither is, nor ever was a part of the common law."
-Thomas Jefferson, February 10, 1814

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ID - Pharming Science

There's a lot of similarity between the proponents of Intelligent Design and those who manipulate Google's system for ranking websites. In addition to commiting garden variety fraud, they employ similar methods to perpetrate their assault on reality.

Google farmers, as I call them, create a large number of sites - and sometimes purchase existing content enterprises on particular subjects - and interlink them into vast self-supporting galaxies of web pages. Google's automated systems can't see what is quickly apparent to any savvy surfer; the sites are wastelands. No one visits them, except by stumbling across them on Google searches. They have only the slenderest of connections to the net of information known as the WWW. But on their own, they form a substantial enough constellation of interlinking sites that Google's artificial intelligence cannot readily determine that they have no value, that they are, in essence, total artifice erected for the sole audience of Google's search robots (and then they sell advertising to anyone who stumbles one click into their empire of nonsense).

And so it goes with Intelligent Design. It has no value as a scientific theory whatsoever. But by "publishing" articles that are "reviewed" and "referenced" and "cited" by co-conspirators in the assault on Reason, they create the appearance of an actual "movement" and "controversy" in academia. I'm no defender of academia, but there's a reason it's caused not a ripple in academic circles. It's shit.

It's as if someone recommended replacing Newtonian gravity with "God makes things fall" - it explains nothing, it's not science, and in fact its an insult to the splendor of God's creation to subsitute appreciation of its magificence with a fatuous "God did it."

Evolution ranks among the most spectacularly successful theories in the history of science. It explains why we have different blood types, why bacteria become resistant to our best drugs, why viruses become less virulent over time, why there are no elephants in America (people ate the mammoths), why donkeys and horses have sterile offspring (they are just past the cusp of becoming different species), how dogs can be "overbred" (exploding populations stress underlying genetic weaknesses) and, in the most amazing prediction of the history of science, it predicts the discovery of DNA, the mechanism by which traits are inherited from parent to child, and by which these traits can change.

But "Intelligent Design", the latest fad in ignorance, soldiers on in the face of overhwhelming evidence, using the same techniques as spammers. ID and spammers; cut from the same cloth. If you believe Intelligent Design, I've got a 12 inch penis.

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Cave Notes 2

There has been much blather about "activist" judges in recent years - that word being the theocratic Right's secret word for "liberal". Conservatives would have you believe that the role of the judiciary is strictly limited. Never mind that judges are the *executors* of the law - they put people in jail.

But now that the crowning moment has come for social conservatives, now that "their" President has put one man on the Supreme Court and is poised to make another score for thier side, they are ripping him to shreds for not choosing someone to their liking. For not choosing someone, in other words, who will advance their agenda. For not choosing someone so outrageous that Democrats feel compelled to invoke a nuclear showdown in the Senate.

But isn't that the very definition of the "activist judge"? Isn't that the very thing conservatives have been decrying ever since the Brown v. Board of Education - that desired social policies are acheived through rulings by judges? That a judge will be chosen to advance a social policy rather than the rule of law? How can that be?

Oh, now I remember, it's because they are total frigging hypocrites. When they mean that the judiciary shouldn't promote a social agenda, they mean it should only promote *their* social agenda.

Odd, isn't it, that the rallying point is the enforcement of the Constitution's promise of equality. Odder still that they cite the Dredd Scott decision in opposition to Roe v Wade. It's impossible not to see a very latent and nasty racism in the conservative position. Every now and then some knucklehead like Bennett lets escape a jaw-dropper - like that the crime rate would go down if we killed all the Black babies - and then it's not so latent.

Nativist, extreme social conservativism, disdain for equal rights, burning hatred for desegregation, hatred of women's rights, an ongoing belief in eugenics - how can they, with a straight face, call themselves Americans? Even harder to believe - how can the feckless Democrats keep letting them get away with it?

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Notes from the cave
While We Were Out edition.

Ksysguard - the panel applet - would be better if it put current values in the tooltip. It would also be better if it were documented how you get stuff onto there - by opening ksysguard - the app - and dragging "sensors" from the left tree panel thingy. Reordering the sensors on a given display also doesn't seem to work.


Saw her walking down the street. High heels, odd clothing. Kinda stripy pantsuit thing with big billowy legs and weird, garish pattern on top, wraps around her neck, upper back bare. She started telling me how she was going to volunteer with a vetinarian [maybe because I heard something on TV like "Anyone know where I can finda vetinarian? I'm taking care of my grandmother" with no explanation of what that was supposed to mean]. She claimed the strange clothes was her vetinary uniform. Later she was in the strange multi-bedroom circular plan house - sort of a grungy dormitory with a hallway running around the outside - and she started falling asleep standing up, then falling asleep on me, and I tried to find a place to settle her on the couch next to my sister. Somehow she was paler now. She did not want to be put down.


Thought later about my lack of natural defenses. Others assert their id, their reptilian brain of aggression and need, without ever being aware of it. Many people who would never admit to aggression are in fact the worst reptiles (story of the 80s, hippies gone yuppies). The question is, do I want to take care of myself by engaging in my reptile brain, or do I want to live in a higher place and let me reptile brain take care of business by itself. In other words, is learning about reptile brain why I'm here?

Saw myself trying to stop thinking about something. Reminded me of once wearing sunglasses watching a tennis match in afternoon sun. I saw in that moment the trick of "letting go". Part of the problem is having enough confidence to see the whole situation, rather than the onrushing brick wall of danger. Then I visualized myself speeding towards a brick wall and stopping inches away from it. Then I visualized myself watching myself do this, then me the watcher watching the watcher, and so on, quickly leafing off into mandelbrot hall of mirrors receding to infinity. And a quick series of other revelations speeding off into self-reflections. Is this my fate? To watch enlightenment, and never to be in it? Where is my brain? Which part is really me?

I know I'm not the reptile. But I'm not sure he's visible and doing his job, either. I don't want the dragon sleeping, but I don't want him shooting fire out my nose, either. So I know about this: why can't I see others having the same struggle? Are my sudden intuitions about the mind of others always blind to what mirrors me?


Farking Hi-larious. Nothing funnier than watching nerd trolls and regular old under-the-bridge trolls go head to head over whether the MD5 crack constitutes a legitimate defense against a traffic camera, spar over what black men and others do on a typical day (and this being the internet, it's not easy to tell who among the commenters might be), and, let's face it, any conversation that invokes "TCP/IP drinking game" is worth your... uh. Well it's good for... uh, well it's as funny as it is stupid. Or useless. Whatever.


So... wtf? pastafarianism. I approve, even though I approve of many contrary things. But the weird thing is, I distinctly remember a late friend talking, in the sixth grade, about the virtues of the cult of the flying spaghetti. The crawling sort were also in the mix. So, being a generally hip a-hole - you can't make some casual python reference and expect me to go "duh", or a thousand other things - I have to wonder - what is the origin of the flying spaghetti stuff?

I'd love to credit Ben L&emdash; with the whole deal - I heard about the flying spaghetti deity/deities from him in, oh, 1982 or so. But since he died (RIP) in the early 90s I have to wonder who has been carrying the torch. And who lit it. It's weird.

:wq


Thu Sep 15 22:19:39 EDT 2005
Government failures at the federal, state and local levels are being widely blamed for the anarchy and loss of life in the early days after Katrina slammed into the Gulf Coast on Aug. 29.

"Yet now everybody says government is the answer. It's baffling," said Ronald D. Utt, who studies federal public works spending for the conservative Heritage Foundation.

Baffling indeed. Let's rephrase: "The fire department showed up an hour late and the house burned down. And the now homeless victims think that munincipal services are the answer to their problems. It's baffling!".
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